Forgiveness is a powerful process that frees us from the weight of anger, resentment, and past hurts. It’s not about excusing the wrongs done to us, but about releasing their hold on our hearts and minds. In letting go, we clear the path for our healing journey. It lets us walk in growth and peace, for ourselves and in our relationships with others. 

In this episode, Steve Smith welcomes Tom Phelan to discuss a profound and often overlooked aspect of recovery: forgiveness. Together, they explore the relationship between forgiveness and recovery and how it’s a powerful step on a healing journey. Tom draws from his experience in leading Christian-based, 12-step recovery groups, offering listeners valuable insights into how forgiveness can help them move beyond past hurts and live a more fulfilled life. By listening, the audience will gain practical tools for beginning the process of forgiveness and understand how this can be a powerful step toward emotional and spiritual healing.

Join Steve Smith and Tom Phelan as they explore the transformative power of forgiveness, offering hope and healing for those in recovery and beyond. In finding inner peace and forgiveness, we walk further along the healing journey toward God.

Here are three reasons why you should listen to this episode:

1. Gain valuable insights into how forgiveness plays a crucial role in the recovery process, helping to release past hurts and continue your healing journey.
2. Understand the deeper connections between forgiveness, addiction recovery, and spiritual growth, as explained through the lens of the 12-step program.
3. Learn practical steps to begin or maintain the journey of forgiveness, while exploring how it can transform your emotional and spiritual well-being.

Resources

• Live from Rest Podcast: Apple Podcasts | Spotify 
• Live from Rest App: Google Play | App Store
• The Keys Project: Website 
• Lucinda Smith's book, 'The Red Thread': Forgive

Episode Highlights

Keys Online Recovery Group 

• The Keys Online Recovery Group is a Christian recovery group focused on recovery.
• The program is grounded in the Bible, and uses a 12-step program to help Christians flourish.
• Keys prioritizes being supportive; they welcome new members regardless of their problems, such as substance misuse or compulsive behaviors.

Forgiveness in the 12 Steps Program

• The forgiveness element in the 12 Steps, particularly Step Four, involves making a fearless moral inventory of oneself.
• The process helps identify legitimate hurts and the impact of these hurts on one's emotional and personal security.
• One must acknowledge our own part in the hurt and need for repentance and forgiveness
• Thus, forgiveness is not just about the other person but also about personal growth and change.

Tom: “But even then, with the steps, there's a process where we can kind of untangle how it might affect our future.”

The Role of Forgiveness in Your Healing Journey

• The 12 steps program incorporates forgiveness to help individuals identify their part in the hurt and change their attitude.
• One critical thing to remember about forgiveness is Jesus' teachings: you must remove the plan in your eye before addressing the speck in another’s.
• Self-pity can hinder recovery and lead to relapses.
• It’s critical to find a community, foster mentorship, and build a culture of prayer in the forgiveness process.
• Forgiveness is not a standalone process — it’s part of a larger journey of spiritual growth and change.

Tom: “It’s a process that's meant to change us. We can't change them. It's a process that's meant to change us and also set us up in the future to process things quite differently.”

Maintaining Forgiveness and Overcoming Unforgiveness

• The nature of forgiveness is that it is ongoing; we need to maintain it to prevent relapses.
• It’s a powerful thing to learn to recognize and address your triggers, especially if those things lead to unforgiveness.
• People on their healing journey need a process that helps them react appropriately when they get triggered. This process helps prevent a reversion to old behaviors.
• Two important parts of the recovery process are prayer and spiritual growth; both of them help Christians maintain forgiveness and overcome unforgiveness.

Tom: “It [Forgiveness] doesn't mean that everything's suddenly all okay and everything and we're all smiley and friendly and happy, there's still a journey to the other side of forgiveness”

Forgiveness and Spiritual Maturity

• Forgiveness isn’t just for recovery. It’s central to achieving spiritual maturity and overcoming mental health difficulties.
• It would help people in recovery to make forgiveness a regular topic in religious discussions, similar to giving and other spiritual practices.
• Something to consider is forgiving in advance: it can prevent future triggers and build a healthier attitude.
• Everyone is broken — but there’s a power that comes from recognizing that and coming to God to pray for other people.

About Tom Phelan

Tom Phelan is a dedicated freelance musician and a seasoned recovery leader who has dedicated his life to helping individuals overcome addiction and find true healing through a Christian-based, 12-step recovery program. As a key facilitator of the Keys Online Recovery Group, Tom brings years of personal experience and deep spiritual insight into his work, guiding participants through the complex journey of recovery. Grounded in both scripture and the principles of the 12 steps, he focuses on forgiveness as a critical component of emotional and spiritual healing. His compassionate and approachable demeanor has made him a trusted mentor for those seeking to break free from the chains of addiction.

Tom’s leadership goes beyond recovery from addiction, as he emphasizes the importance of personal growth and flourishing in all areas of life. He understands that recovery is not just about abstinence but about thriving as a Christian and embracing God’s grace. Through his thoughtful guidance, Tom helps others unpack past hurts, acknowledge their role in their own healing, and move forward with a renewed sense of purpose. His work in recovery has transformed many lives, offering hope and a healing journey to true freedom for those struggling with addiction.

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Post a review and share it! If you enjoyed tuning in, then leave us a review. You can also share this episode with your friends and family. No matter how deep the hurt or how long you've held onto unforgiveness, there’s always a path to healing and freedom. Your healing journey starts when you learn to forgive.

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